The Question I can’t stop thinking about.
“How often are people willing to give themselves permission to say what they really want?”
Sadly, I’ve discovered the answer is, Not.That.Often.
What’s up with that?
I’ve come to understand a lot of people are holding back because, they’re afraid to be vulnerable. They feel embarrassed and even guilty for wanting what they want. They’re afraid to say what they want incase they don’t get it. They’re afraid they don’t deserve it. They’re afraid their dreams sound ridiculous. They’re afraid of what other people think. They’re afraid what they want is too big or too small.
Do you see a theme here?
They’re afraid and some even feel a tinge of guilt for being human and having desires.
I get it, believe me, I get it.
When I ask them what they want, regarding anything (ahem, especially career.)
They’re response begins like this…
“I should want….”
The second I hear that, I instantly hear sirens blaring in my head so loud it’s as if a entire fire department full of trucks are coming at warp speed towards our conversation to save us.
Save us from what?
Using the word should when talking about what they want. This word, THIS WORD!
I have a lot to say about why I wish we could make it vanish completely, but instead I’ll be direct about why it’s important to stop using it so often.
Saying this word when talking about we want, reveals that we’re making ANOTHER decision based on guilt with hopes it may, might, mayyyy be will turn out the way we hope so we can finally enjoy life.
In my opinion, this is what keeps people feeling stuck, entertaining doubt and arguing for their limitations.
Let’s look at the definition to should.
Should : used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions.
Does that sound empowering to you?
I recommend eliminating this word from one’s vocabulary, starting now.
Replace it with, “I want to.” or “I don’t want to.”
Why do you want to do this? To experience freedom and remember you have an opinion.
Let go of habit of explanation… you don’t need to explain yourself, unless you genuinely want to.
Instead, OWN your power of choice in any given moment. Take pride in having clarity, knowing what you want and please, know you are worthy of having your desires.
Starting today, give yourself permission to want what you want. Say it with confidence (even if there’s hesitation underneath) and lean into the trust that you ARE WORTH IT!