I recently shared a story about how I lost my shit, when things weren’t going my way. I screamed, demanded, heck I even made threats and guess what happened.
My daughter was climbing out of her car seat while I was driving. I was scared out of my mind we’d get hit by a car and she’d get seriously hurt. So, I screamed hoping it would ‘knock some sense into her.’ You know what happened, she laughed. Then she threw a shoe at my head (and hit it.)
Which only made me more angry, naturally.
Eventually after 20 minutes of this back and forth, she buckled her seat belt and we made it home safely.
Then the guilt set in as soon as she fell asleep for her nap,
“Why couldn’t I keep it together, she needs me to be the sane one. The rational one. What if I messed her up. Is this what she’ll be talking about in therapy 20 years from now?”
Before I fell further down the habit hole, I stopped myself, took 3 deeps breaths and reminded myself I could begin again.
This was not my proudest moment in parenting and you may be judging me and her. Which hell, I don’t blame you. But, here’s what I learned from this chaos.
In that moment, after the dust had settled I had a choice. I could focus on all the reasons why I had every right to be pissed at her.
Or, I could stop letting fear and anger run the show, so I could return to love. I could decide no matter what happened leading up to that moment, I could choose love and act from that place now and each moment moving forward. And you know what? A wave of relief washed over me.
The rest of our day together was as sweet as cherry pie, because I committed to being present and coming from a place of love as much as possible. That intention, along with giving myself permission to begin again changed everything.
“You cannot look at that which you do not want and not join and perpetuate that vibration. Take your attention from that which is not in harmony with who you are, and your “now vibration” will adjust to who you really are — and then you can uplift others.” – Esther (Abraham and Jerry) Hicks
Makes sense, right?
So, my questions for you are, how often do you hold onto to stories of how things “should be” rather than how they are?
How often are you beating yourself up for what you didn’t do or how you handled something, rather than giving yourself permission to begin again?
Our greatest source of power resides in the present moment. Not in the past or in the future.
Are you waiting for someone to give you permission to not have it all together, to be able to mess up and not be ridiculed for it, to not have to have the answers all the time? Are you waiting for someone to remind you, you don’t have to be perfect?
If so, I hope you’ll take this moment right now, to grant yourself permission to let life be messy. Let yourself off the hook, no more trying to be everything for everyone AND have it all figured out.
Perhaps most importantly, give yourself permission to begin again, from a place of love and know that’s enough.
I’d love to hear from you. Where can you give yourself permission to be more you? Messiness and all. Post in the comments below.
Sending you loads of love,